Case 03
The tyrant who was re-enacting his own childhood
Like a well-rehearsed play, he was reproducing the nightmare of his own childhood -- only now he had cast himself as the all-powerful, punishing father, and placed his own son in the role he once occupied.
The presenting problem
The client — a leader with pronounced tyrannical traits — arrived genuinely believing that the source of his dissatisfaction, explosive anger, and inability to concentrate at work was his teenage son. He was convinced that I needed to work with the boy, whom he described as an irresponsible slacker “wasting his life living in luxury” — enjoying comforts earned through years of his father’s hard labor. He also expected me to “fix” his wife, who in his view was foolishly indulging their son out of misplaced pity, and preventing the application of what he called “proven military-style discipline.”
What the diagnosis revealed
A thorough diagnostic assessment led to a very different conclusion. I firmly proposed that the foundation of our contract should not be therapy for his son, but work on the client’s own destructive script. Like a well-rehearsed play, he was reproducing the nightmare of his own childhood. Only now he had cast himself in the role of the all-powerful, punishing father — and placed his own son in the role he himself once occupied.
The contradiction
He wanted his son to grow into a worthy, successful person. But in daily life, he did not respect his child, gave him no support, imposed his own version of rightness, and harshly punished any imperfection or disobedience. For the 14-year-old to change, it was the father who needed to transform.
The turning point
This combative leader — always certain of his unquestionable rightness — was shocked by my assessment and proposal. However, his fierce intuition and powerful intellect allowed him to accept this unflattering conclusion and to begin psychotherapeutic work on himself.